Feelin’ Fine with Feline Wine – Los Angeles


Hachi is my cat.  I am his human.  I wanted to give him a treat this holiday season, so I bought him a bottle of Cat Wine.  I didn’t want him to drink alone, so…I may have bought a bottle of something for me to drink with him.  Drinking starts now…

Apollo Peak is a small company based out of Denver, CO making and selling wines for both cats and dogs–‘Made with Love’ their label reads.  Their ‘wines’ are not alcoholic in the slightest–it’s a mix of herbs, beet juice, and water.  For cats, there’s things like peppermint and catnip in the blend.  For dogs it’s…whatever dogs like instead of catnip.  I’m not a dog person and the buzz kicked in a minute ago, so my journalistic integrity may be slidding.  

I opened a small bottle of Pinot Meow for Hachi and poured it in his bowl.  He cautiously approached.  He’s an old cat and suspicious of new things.  He started sniffing around…and…now, he is headbutting the bowl.  What a nut. He almost spilled som eso I moved the bowl.

What are you doin, buddy?  That’s not how you drink wine.Oh–the catnip is clearly kicking in…yeah…you like that.  You want me to pet you?  NO! FUCK! YOU WANT TO BITE ME.  Wait…no…it’s both.  Yur drunk, little dude.  I call him little dude sometimes.  I don’t know why  

U guys, yu guys…he just tiried to stick his paw int he bowll1!!  WHAT! HahA!He hasn’t even drunkenened anything yet! Yur drunk; Hachi!1  Ha!  Wat wait…I’m gonna get on the groundf wit hhim.  hes playinw ith my shoe lace holdmy drnik come here little dudeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeaOv     kl;’        [impl[;]{


This is Hachi.  Kurt just fell asleep. I nudged his hand off his laptop keyboard so I could finish the article for him.  I won’t deny, the Pinot Meow was delightful.  But I’m not a big drinker.  I’m heavy into catnip, however, and the smell was clearly enough for me.  In general, I would personally prefer straight catnip as opposed to mixing it with anything else, but there is no doubt in my mind that a good many cats will be delighted by this unique concoction!

Now, I’m about to confide a secret in you, dear readers–so do not breathe a word of this to any other feline.  (It’s hard enough for an indoor cat to get street cred…)

We don’t have a word for ‘love’ in cat tongue.  The closest thing we have is the word ‘tolerate.’  And for whatever reason, I tolerate Kurt.  And if your cat (or dog, I suppose) tolerates you–then there is no limit to the amount of stupid stuff you can give us, make us wear, or ask us to do–and Lord knows, those poor dogs will do just about anything.

So thank you, Apollo Peak for giving me and my human something ridiculous to do together.  I tolerate him very much.

If you’ll excuse me, Kurt is passed out on the floor face-down, which means I can take a nap on his back.  When he wakes up, I want to be in arm’s reach for a nice pet.
ADDENDUM: I tried to take a self photo, but it is ridiculously difficult to do almost anything without opposable thumbs…typing notwithstanding.

Apollo Peak: http://www.apollopeak.com/

For a complete map of all locations featured in this blog, please follow this link: The Grand Appétit Map


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